This episode Anthony gets a little heated. He feels passionately that mentors are overrated as a concept.
Too many people are waiting for the ‘right mentor’ before they just start really going for it and learning from practical experience.
Mentors serve a purpose undoubtedly. Their purpose, however, isn’t to tell you exactly what to do, to do work for you, to motivate you, though that is what many people expect them to do.
In expecting that, people wait. They wait to find a mentor that will solve all their problems for them. But that isn’t what they will do.
You have to stop waiting around for some magical moment that isn’t ever going to happen. The time is now. You can get advice along the way. But relying on a mentor and most expectations of mentors are unrealistic and hence overrated as a concept.
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Ryan: I’m Dr. Ryan Debell.
Anthony: And I’m Dr. Anthony Gustin.
Ryan: Welcome back to the Health Fit Business podcast. In this episode, there’s a little bit of angry town.
Anthony: I spit some fire about how you should stop being a little b*tch.
Ryan: (Laughs) In this episode, we talked about why mentors are overrated.
Anthony: Get after it that’s why.
Ryan: Yeah. And how actions are underrated. You don’t want to miss this one.
Anthony: Get after it.
Ryan: Let’s listen in.
Ryan: Welcome back!
Anthony: Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to the Health Fit Business…
Ryan & Anthony: Podcast.
Anthony: We got some solid *** for you this time.
Ryan: In this episode, we want to talk about why mentors are overrated.
Anthony: What? Every top ten list I read on entrepreneur.com says that I need a mentor.
Ryan: Yeah. So, why are mentors overrated?
Anthony: What the hell is a mentor and why are people trying to seek them currently?
Ryan: So, mentor would be like, you know, find someone who’s where you want to be, who’s done the things that you want to do and then have them basically tell you what to do and like guide you through the process.
Anthony: Me, I need a mentor.
Ryan: Now, mentors are overrated in relation to certain things. It is not like you shouldn’t have mentors or have people that you work with or reflect with or help guide you process or ask you probing questions. The problem is people get a mentor and they don’t do anything!
Anthony: People think like…
Ryan: It’s a magical thing. You get a mentor and suddenly you’ll going to be successful. No!
Anthony: Mentors do not create actions. They give you ideas but you have to create the actions. And so that’s why when people think like “Oh! Who’s your mentor?” “Who did all the shit for you?” No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! It does not work that way. Mentors or other influencers can be good to generate ideas but your real “mentor” is experience doing sh*t.
Ryan: The only way you get experience is by doing stuff from learning from it. But this whole idea of like “Wow! I really want to be successful. I need to find a mentor.”
Anthony: It’s another excuse to not do things.
Ryan: Right. Maybe you need to start doing stuff and making mistakes and learning from it before a mentor really even has a big impact on you. If you need a mentor to tell you very basic things, it’s not very impactful or valuable. But if you’ve already gone through and tried and learned and refined the information that you would get from a mentor, it is incredibly more valuable.
Anthony: You know who asked me who my mentor has been consistently?
Anthony: People who don’t have good habits of getting things done.
Ryan: It’s like they want…
Anthony: No one who is really good at getting things done has ever asked me who my mentor is.
Anthony: This is just kind of a thing like people should be working on systematically creating habits that allow you to take action over and over and over and over again. Get good at that and then use that skill and have a mentor influence maybe if you need still you feel like one. After that, to different directions. My actions in my learning, I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing but I know what’s in front of me and what I need to tackle next and I learn from that and I learn from that and I learn from that. Things are going in the right directions. I don’t need somebody right now to tell me “Oh! Go over here. Go over there!” I’m using the skills I built up for taking actions to get the things done. I don’t need anybody to give me this big picture thing.
Ryan: Yeah! How many people are waiting around. “Oh! I just don’t feel like I have the right mentor yet. I don’t feel like…”
Anthony: “I need a mentor like…I need a…” And chiros do a lot of this too. “I need to join because this person is like a mentor.”
Ryan: Yeah. It’s just like…
Anthony: Or you just need money to start a place.
Anthony: Is that…?
Ryan: When you really boil … how many conversations have we had where someone’s like “I want to go work for someone for a couple of years so that I can learn from them. Have them help mentor me… dah dah dah.” It’s like very unlikely that’s a waste.
Anthony: How you are going to learn is by just going out there and doing things. This has been a consistent thing that we talked about and maybe 20% of the podcast. You just need to start now and start learning.
Anthony: And get better at that skill.
Ryan: Don’t wait around to find a good mentor before you start doing things like right now because by then you are going to be waiting for a very long time once you do get a mentor, you haven’t done shit.
Anthony: And you won’t have the skill and the behavior patterns to just get things done.
Ryan: Right. You just been sitting around twiddling your thumb waiting for a mentor like that isn’t what’s it for.
Anthony: My whole idea, like I said, I don’t have. People asked me who my mentor is and I said, “Doing shit, my businesses and experience.” The better I get at the skills that I’m trying to improve and like the habit of just getting things done on a daily basis, the less I feel like I would ever need a mentor. Yeah I have some friends who I consult like “Hey! What do you think about this situation? I’m having a hard time thinking about it.” And then they say that and my behavior and my action taking abilities are what then drive and make that useful. No mentor ever will be useful if you do not have the skill and behavior of getting things done.
Ryan: How many prioritize getting a mentor over those other things?
Anthony: You need to be just a machine at executing before anybody gives you any advice and you take it. That’s kind of like we’re kind of walk this fine line of this podcast and all the stuff that we are doing. We’re not just trying to… We are giving you actionable things every single podcast.
Anthony: To do…Challenge of the Week is like, we want to be inspirational and talk about these things give advice and kind of teach people how to do things. But you will never ever ever ever have that beautiful information unless you take action on it and unless that becomes a habit. It needs to be a weekly habit as we are trying to instill in people from doing their action, Challenge of the Week. Get good at that and then you can take advice and run with it and do important things.
Ryan: I guess it’s like, how much advice and inspiration do you need before you actually start doing stuff? Before you actually start trying?
Anthony: But here’s the conundrum.
Ryan: What’s the conundrum?
Anthony: The advice becomes sooo critically valuable when you actually have the skill of executing but people think they need that to start executing.
Ryan: Yeah. So, like the advice isn’t useful until you have the point where you that actually is useful.
Ryan: And, it’s not that useful to get a mentor’s advice to forget how to set up an LLC and open a bank account and get the credit card. Like you don’t need a mentor. You just go to google and type in or talk to an accountant and be like “Hey! I need an LLC set up.” You don’t need a mentor to tell you that. That’s such low level like non-important…
Anthony: Business advice is not useful until you execute. So, practice executing. That’s your mentor. Experience and doing things.
Ryan: Do you think there ever is a place let’s say who’s more experienced and can offer you those things? I mean, are you saying don’t ever get a mentor, because I know that like you’ve had some people that kind of give you ideas and that you bounce ideas with but you seek them very rarely? And you do a ton of stuff between the times when you talk to them.
Anthony: Yeah. I mean, I don’t think there’s… It’s not like I’m asking them like what to do.
Ryan: You’re getting their perspective.
Anthony: Here’s another thing that I think people confused what a true mentor or thought a partner will have. It’s like, you will not just go to them and they say “Hey! You should do x, y and z. ” You will go to them with like a dilemma and get a different perspective. You don’t go to them to ask them what to do. That’s a very weak position to be in.
Ryan: That’s what a boss does.
Ryan: That’s what someone that you work for does. They tell you “Do this, do this, do this.”
Ryan: That’s not what a mentor does.
Anthony: Yeah. So, mentors are overrated.
Ryan: Action is underrated. Mentors are overrated. You need a mentor once you need a mentor and you don’t need a mentor as early as you think. Are you looking at something?
Ryan: No. Your microphone is great.
Anthony: So, I mean, I don’t know what else to say about this one. This might be a sure upset because I feel…
Ryan: Well, let me say a couple of things here. I do have a couple of people that I share ideas with and who I consider like Erson. He’s been someone who I’ve asked questions not on “Hey! What do you think I should do about…” You know, “How do you think I should do this?” It’s more like someone who can say “Keep going down the path. These are some of the struggles you will run into.” And they are also like sharing their own advice and experience.
Anthony: Look ahead.
Anthony: But be aware.
Ryan: It’s not like I sit down with Erson and he goes and say“Okay Ryan. Here’s a 7-step plan for you to do.” It’s not what it is.
Anthony: Yeah. People want an action plan. That’s living a mentor is. Living a mentor is two things – an action plan and the action itself. You and the experience is the action and the action pla. You should be coming up with that.
Ryan: Right. Get some external perspective on what you’re doing and get some thoughts from someone who’s kind of outside. That’s what a mentor should really be.
Anthony: It’s all about ownership right. Thinking of mentors the way people asked me about them are the way for people to rationalize lack of ownership.
Ryan: Yeah. I mean, who’s running your business? You or your mentor you know.
Anthony: “Oh, well, when I get that mentor I will finally be where I want to go. I am just waiting for that mentor.” No, no no. No, no, no. You are the action and the action plan.
Ryan: I also think that what’s undervalued too is like having peers to share ideas with and be thought partners. Like I would say, you and I for example.
Ryan: I don’t think I would consider you a mentor vice versa but we share and explore a lot of ideas. And I think people want to find someone who is like 30 years older than them to like tell them what to do.
Anthony: It’s not how it works.
Ryan: I find what we do together extremely valuable even though you are not my “mentor” and I’m not your mentor but we push and drive each other. Constantly challenging. I think there’s another way you can get what you are looking for besides it has to be this way and I need this person.
Anthony: I don’t know if that just comes from apprenticeship days in the past. “I know this craft and I will teach these to people.” But there is the internet now. You can just figure it out on your own instantly.
Ryan: It probably does come from the apprenticeship. That’s the way it has been done. You need to find. You need to be someone’s apprentice and have them teach you and pass the wisdom down. Dude, wisdom and knowledge and information is ubiquitous now. It is just whether or not you are waiting for someone to show you or you are going to go find it.
Anthony: There is also no problem with getting experienced for working for somebody and having them be your boss to tell you what to do. But to expect that a mentor gives you that…
Ryan: And your boss is not your mentor!
Anthony: without providing them value?
Ryan: Do you think your boss is your mentor?
Ryan: Yeah. So, going and working for someone else and thinking that they are going to like teach you and mentor you to be able to do… They are your boss. They run their business and you are their employee.
Anthony: I just think that word is silly. I don’t like it.
Anthony: Mentor. It is a silly connotation. I just don’t.
Ryan: So, sexist?
Ryan: Men-tor? Why is everything, you know?
Anthony: I don’t know. Mentora?
Ryan: It could be a female? You see what I’m saying?
Anthony: Yeah. Mentor.
Ryan: There you go! (laughs) Alright, so what’s the Challenge of the Week Anthony?
Anthony: Listen to any one of our other podcasts and actually do the thing that we recommended at the end of it. That’s the challenge.
Ryan: Alright. Get after it!
Anthony: Get after it.
Ryan: Thank you guys for tuning in to this episode of the Health Fit Business podcast. If you found it helpful, please share with someone that you think it would also help and leave us a five-star rating on iTunes. Make sure also to go to healthfit.biz and sign up for the email notifications to which you can find right on the homepage so that you get all the updated podcasts and blog posts sent directly to you. Until then, we will see you next time.